


But I Can’t Help

by StrangeTechiques



Category: Doctor Strange - Fandom, Iron Man - Fandom, MCU, Marvel
Genre: Angst fic, IronStrange, M/M, Stephen can’t really cope, Tony Stark Has A Heart, angsty, can you blame him though?, im sorry, tags? What?
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-07-08
Updated: 2019-07-08
Packaged: 2020-06-24 10:28:16
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 764
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19721824
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/StrangeTechiques/pseuds/StrangeTechiques





	But I Can’t Help

14,000,605. It’s an incredibly big number if you think about it. And to think that Stephen saw that many possible futures in those few moments on the planet of Titian. Stephen wouldn’t even be able to comprehend or classify all the different futures that he saw. 

There was loss, endings that weren’t meant to theirs, friendships he couldn’t believe, enemies he never thought he’d see, but the most surprising would be the romances that he’d never expect. But in those 14,000,605, and in however many of those were romantic, the one that stood out the most was anything involving that, snarky, genius, billionaire, playboy, philanthropist that managed to become an annoyance in his life within fifteen minutes of being in it. 

Stephen could list off the things that he witnessed with Tony in all of them, but he didn’t feel like doing it. He could say that he’s watched them die, live, smile, cry, laugh, become angered, everything. But he didn’t want to. He wouldn’t tell anyone because he get as if this was something that needed to be kept to himself. It hurt and he didn’t want it to. The pain in his chest was far more overwhelming than even his worst days with his hands, or even just his worst days in general. Those needle like pain, the soemtimes unbearable shaking that his hands overtook, even all the deaths he felt with Dormmamu was nothing compared to this. 

If someone saw what he saw in those futures, it will be very justifiable his panicked reaction when that spell broke and he came back into reality. Tony had been the first person that he saw. That worried look, assuring tone, those soft, chocolate brown eyes Stephen never would’ve guessed would’ve had an impact on his life. It melted his heart, but ached it even more. Because he knew what had to happen. And to know what was to come hurt. More than anything. 

He had fallen in love with Tony Stark. 

_But he knew, right there on the surface, he couldn’t pursue them._

_And he never would be able to._

Stephen could only fight in silence as the pain of knowing what was about to happen grew closer. He had watched Tony from across the field, fighting, keeping water at bay, signaling them that this was the moment, this was the future that they won. 

He couldn’t erase that look of realization on their face. Their face pained him even more, and he couldn’t bear to watch, he could only repeat the words he knew would be said in his mind. 

_“And I…am Iron Man.”_

Stephen of course had wanted to intervene, wanted to do something that would keep Tony alive. They deserved a break, a rest, but his heart couldn’t agree to let Tony have this kind of rest. So watching from afar as the last light of life faded from their body, watching that brightness he’s never seen in anyone else’s eyes fade away into nothing more than blankness, hurt more than anything else. He knew this was coming, but no amount of mental preparation could prepare him for this. Removing those stones from the cold, lifeless body of the man he had come to fall in love with broke him in ways Stephen was certain would never be topped in his many years of life ahead of him. 

It was unfair, that Tony had to go this way. He wished he could split his life to bring the other back. Hell, Stephen would want to give all of his life to bring the other back, but he knew. He painfully knew, that you shouldn’t mess with the dead. They all passed for a reason. Everyone’s end came when it was supposed to, with a reason. A reason that’s yours or not. It was there, and you shouldn’t mess with that. 

Stephen managed to keep it together at the funeral, memorial, whatever. Dawned in a black suit, solemn, but blank look in his face, he gave his condolences to the Starks, to those who were closest to Tony. He got his thanks, he bid his goodbyes, and that was it. 

He wouldn’t ever admit to the silence in his room that night being broken by quiet cries that he’d never admit were his own. He wouldn’t admit to the sleep he couldn’t receive that night. Never in his whole life. 

_Take my hand, take my whole life too_

_For I can’t help falling in love with you_

_Cause I can’t help_

_Falling in love_

_With you_


End file.
